Random Vegan Jokes

Random Vegan Jokes

Here at Truth, we aren’t just all business! Sure we’re a vegan fashion company, but we still like to have a bit of fun too. In fact, you’ve probably noticed that if you’ve read some of our other silly videos and articles!

So here are some silly, random vegan jokes (and some non-vegan jokes too!) Do they have anything to do with vegan fashion? No!

What did the porcupine say to the skunk?
You stink.

What did the skunk say to the porcupine?
You’re such a prick.

What did the cupcake say to the date square?
I’d date you but you’re too square.

What does a vegan zombie eat?

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!

What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Are you stalking me?

If baby cats are called kittens, shouldn’t baby dogs be called diggins?

Why do we have to have domestic animals spayed and neutered? Why can’t they just wear chastity belts?

I’m trying to be a good person, but c’mon, plumbers are pretty much asking for wedgies.

I was going to be an Olympic skier, but that career is a slippery slope.

Today’s a sad day. I found myself eating baby carrots because I thought they were Cheetos.

If I fall in a forest, would any of the animals care?

The worst thing about wearing mittens is that you can’t give people the finger. I tried it today. I looked foolish.

Never kill two birds with one stone. Instead, feed two birds with one hand.

Thanks for reading! Yours in health, consciousness, and veganism, this is Ashkon Hobooti for Truth! Live Your Truth, and Respect Others!

3 thoughts on “Random Vegan Jokes

  1. Julia says:

    “Never kill two birds with one stone.” I’ve always hated this saying … who ever thought of this anyways … birds are a metaphor for the soul and freedom … why kill that? … “Instead, feed two birds with one hand.” YES beautiful and refreshing! Thanks TruthBelts for making my day and bringing beauty to the world!

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